Zero Gravity Boxer Shorts

Whilst developing Grizzly Wears Boxer Shorts to work incredibly well for all sports, I realised I had created Zero Gravity Boxer Shorts. This is a completely unsubstantiated claim and has not been tested. At this moment. My supporting theories definitely hold up well. The laws of physics do suggest I am correct.

In the event anybody has a trip to space or a flight on the vomit comet booked. I will send you free items in exchange for photographic evidence to support this claim. Until disproven it must be true. Results of testing carried out by Grizzly Wears Boxer Shorts owners, that I can publish to back up my theory will be rewarded.

Presently, you can get a pair of zero gravity boxer shorts in my online store.

What is the theory ?

My theory is that Grizzly Wears Boxer Shorts keep you supported in Zero Gravity and prevent “fallout”. This is a very simple explanation. Don’t fear, the long complicated version is coming.

Firstly, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. When contents of your boxer shorts try to float away (an action) they are met with the elasticity of the bamboo fabric (reaction). With mass of the average underwear cargo being 190 grams: (2 x 15) + 160. This is not enough to overcome the gentle but firm spring back action of the fabric. Additionally, for the purposes of this theory, I calculate the average contact surface area to be 38cm². This may seem like a lot but it is average. 1 inch square is equal to 6.54cm². Furthermore, with increased mass there is increased surface contact resulting in a greater push back effect. Leading to the conclusion that size doesn’t matter. At least we’re led to believe this is true.

Secondly, entering a reduced or zero gravity environment results in weight (not mass) being reduced. As spring back remains a constant force, its effects are maximised. Under those circumstances, when you need it most, Grizzly Wears Boxers will keep you more supported, safe and secure.

If gravity increases, what happens ?

On the contrary to effects of zero gravity, there is the opposite effect when gravity increases. This could be centrifugal force from an aggressive manoeuvre. My theory has not pin pointed the exact point at which cargo weight overcomes spring back. Elasticity is intended to be comfortable without restriction under normal operating conditions.

The average person becomes unconscious at 5G. If we take the previous calculated average mass of 190g and multiply it by 5… 5 x 190 = 950. Carrying 950g in your boxer shorts is not advisable. I am indeed confident that Grizzly Wears Boxers can take this strain. The tensile strength of steel is 247MPa. Bamboo fabric used to construct zero gravity boxer shorts is 262MPa. Meaning you are safer and comfier in a pair of these than encasing yourself in steel.

What about Black Holes ?

Uncertainty around what happens in black holes makes this hard to theorise. Knowing that there is a stretching effect coming in to play when crossing the event horizon adds a new level of complexity. Coupled with the extreme compression inside a black hole, this gets even harder to calculate. Too many factors are at play for me to predict what will happen accurately. Objects may appear smaller in a black hole. This is due to extreme gravity and cold. Be sensible, stay safe and don’t be sucked into a black hole.

Zero Gravity Boxer Shorts - Image courtesy of NASA
A Black Hole

For more information on black holes you should absolutely check out Professor Brian Cox. Definitely not me.

What else is good about your boxer shorts ?

Grizzly Wears boxers have many great features. They are sustainable, responsibly sourced, made from Bamboo and seamless. In essence they are great for any activity, even space walks.

Pick up a pair of Grizzly Wears Boxer Shorts and take them on all your adventures. You can rely on them to stay supportive and comfortable all day long. Soft, smooth bamboo fabric reduces all the friction where you want no friction. Zero gravity compatible and zero chafing. Henceforth, no matter what activity you’re doing, we’ve got you totally covered !

Testing Zero Gravity Boxer Shorts

Finally, if you have an experiment to test the performance of a pair of Grizzly Wears boxers, I would love to hear from you. Please fill out the product tester form, mention zero gravity in the description and I’ll be in touch. Remember we need the evidence to prove the science. Help me prove that natural fabrics can have super powers.

Lastly, as always, support me by buying the products in my online shop.

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